


The Deliverer

by Fictionbookworm



Series: Natural Disasters in (Occasionally) Human Form [3]
Category: Naruto, One Piece
Genre: Action/Adventure, Family, Fluff, Gen, Humor, One Shot, Pre-Canon, Reincarnation, Transmigration
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-19
Updated: 2020-09-19
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:34:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26550712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fictionbookworm/pseuds/Fictionbookworm
Summary: Under the leadership of Nagato, Akatsuki apparently became a terrorist organization composed of S-class criminals who hunted down Jinchūriki. Well, he's not planning on dying again any time soon - there's too much to do here. Like the World Nobles. They've just got to go. Also, from now on? Konan is his second-in-command.
Series: Natural Disasters in (Occasionally) Human Form [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1658020
Comments: 5
Kudos: 70





	The Deliverer

They were running for their lives, chased by two dozen marines. Apparently, they didn’t take kindly to people freeing the cargo of some slavers. Who knew? He certainly didn’t when he came up with the whole scheme.

On any other day, they would have turned around and beat those men too, but they were already exhausted from fighting the slavers and then the marine leader. Plus, Konan had been shot with a seastone bullet. Devil Fruit powers could be so inconvenient sometimes.

Overhead, a giant bird flies by, its shadow well-defined on the ground. They pay little attention to it until the marines behind then start crying out in pain.

Yahiko swiftly turns around, steading the unconscious Konan on his back, and stops to stares in surprise. The men were all lying on the ground, clutching at the razor-sharp black feathers that were sticking out of their flesh. In the middle of the heap stood two teens, one with wings and talons in place of arms and legs, and one who’s eyes were covered by dark bandages.

“Pain-sama.” The zoan greets him.

“Oh! That’s him?” The other asks, cheerfully cocking his head to the side. “From your stories, I didn’t think he was the type to go around freeing slaves from the goodness of his heart.”

Belatedly, Yahiko realizes that he knew them. Had previously seen their faces on wanted posters, in fact. Uchiha Itachi ‘of the Murder’ and Uchiha ‘Blind Crow’ Shisui, cousins from the Land of Wano. Who evidently knew him? Had they met somewhere before?

* * *

“Why are we in a body piercing shop?” Yahiko inquires desperately.

His friends who had dragged him there without explaining anything exchange glances.

“Bonding activity?” Nagato finally offers tentatively.

“Bonding activity.” He repeats flatly. “You want me to suffer through the process of having a metal bar shoved through each ear, six piercings, three studs through my nose, and two spikes under my lip for a bonding activity.”

“That’s right.” Konan nods decisively, already sitting in a chair and directing a worker on the kind of labret piercing she wanted.

“Ugh.” He mutters under his breath and gives up arguing. If they wanted it so much, they’ll find a way to do it even if it meant drugging him. Better do it now and get it over with.

* * *

“THAT BASTARD! I’LL KILL HIM! I’LL SHOW HIM MY ART! I’LL –“

Yahiko warily watches from the doorway as one of his crew’s newest recruits, ‘Suicide Bomber’ Deidara, wildly paced the room while yelling profanities and threats at the ceiling. His hands were alternating between clutching at his long, blond hair and inching into the pouch he wore on his waist.

He was more than well aware that Deidara’s seemingly innocent-looking pouch contained enough incendiary to blow them all up sky high. Several times over, even.

“What happened?” Konan inquires, looking worriedly over his shoulder.

‘Puppet Master’ Sasori, the second of their new recruits shrugs nonchalantly from the couch he was sitting on, listing through a book on poisons. “He found out the Bomb-Bomb Fruit was already eaten.”

He furrows his eyebrows in confusion. “But doesn’t he make his own explosives? Why would he need a Devil Fruit to do something he already excels at?”

“He’s an idiot, that’s why.” Sasori throws an irritated glance his way. The corpse of the marine captain they had killed a few days ago twitches slightly under the influence of the short man’s bad mood.

“– GO BOOM! WON’T BE PIECES LEFT OF HIM! BLOODY FUCKING SMEAR ON THE WALL!”

“Right. Yahiko decides and hastily makes his escape, Konan at his heels before Sasori felt like practicing his own Puppet-Puppet Fruit on them or Deidara pulled out his dynamite.

* * *

“You know, you’ve got a reputation now.” Nagato musses one calm night. “They’re calling you ‘the Deliverer’ those days.”

Yahiko’s head jerks up in surprise, maps plotting the course of yet another slaver ship abruptly forgotten. “What?”

“You haven’t seen your bounty poster?” Shisui asks with a sly smile. “I hear the price is getting quite high.”

“The Celestial Dragons really don’t like you,” Itachi adds quietly from his permanent spot at his cousin’s side. They were so inseparable Konan was beginning to worry they were unhealthily codependent. “They fear you will be the next Fisher Tiger.”

He’d heard of the Fishman. Anyone who stormed Mariejois alone to free the slaves kept in captivity in the so-called Holy Land deserved respect in Yahiko’s eyes. And he really, really wanted to do the same.

“You’re not doing it alone,” Nagato warns him, knowing him too well to not realize that he was contemplating the absolutely crazy idea. “And when you’ll do, we’ll do it together.”

Yahiko grins helplessly at his best friend and turns back towards his maps. He had a boarding to plan.

* * *

Hidan’s head had just been cut off, and he was still yelling.

_Hidan’s head had just been cut off, and he was still alive._

“That’s just creepy,” Shisui comments blandly. “What kind of Devil Fruit grants such a power?”

“It’s not a Devil Fruit.” Kakuzu grumbles. “He swims fine.”

“Then what?” Yahiko asks faintly. He had known, of course, that the pair of bounty hunters that occasionally helped them out were renowned as the ‘Zombie Duo’, but he hadn’t realized they meant it literally.

“It’s the blessing of Lord Jashin!” The dismembered head cackles loudly. “You didn’t believe in Him, heathens, now pray for His forgiveness and repent! He only asks for the death of a dozen souls to be committed in His name!”

Suddenly, the reasoning behind Hidan’s nickname ‘the Mad Immortal’ made total sense to Yahiko. Was it too late to pretend he didn’t know this psycho?

* * *

“Hey there, pretty girl.”

Yahiko pauses in his card shuffling and peers incredulously at the dirty pirates trying to chat up his best friend a little further away from their table. His fellow players and crewmembers do the same.

“Should we help?” Hesitantly asks Shisui.

“You think Konan needs help?” Kakuzu scoffs derisively.

“Not Konan.” The Uchiha shakes his head. “The poor schmucks who think they have a chance with our Angel.”

Konan says something the men evidently don’t like because one reaches out angrily to grab her by her arm, only for his thick fingers to pass harmlessly through the thousands of paper slips that her body was composed off. With startled shouts, his idiotic companions pull out their weapons.

Yahiko sighs, pushing himself up from his chair and already reaching for the hilt of his sword. This wasn’t what he meant when he proposed a nice night out to a local bar.

* * *

It’s the slightest rustle of cloth that wakes him up. For a long moment, he lies still, keeping his breathing pattern that of a deep sleep, but relaxes, opening his eyes when he recognizes Konan’s soft footsteps.

“What’s wrong?” He asks drowsily, turning on his side to look at her.

“You were dead.” She whispers back.

Nightmare, he concludes heavily and shuffles over in his cot. It was lucky that as the captain he had his own quarters.

Konan slips under his covers and presses herself to him until her ear was against his chest. She was listening to his heartbeat.

“I’m not going anywhere.” Yahiko murmurs reassuringly. “Not this time, I promise.”

* * *

The town was on fire.

Well, technically, half the town was on fire. The other half had already been reduced to rubble.

Yahiko was still not absolutely certain he knew what was going on. Sure, the people of the now significantly smaller town had been rather suspicious with their apparent pleasure in greeting pirates to their small island, but it didn’t explain why Sasori had suddenly decided to kill everyone but their crew right in the middle of the welcoming feast. Of course, the rest of his crewmates hadn’t asked questions and had gleefully thrown themselves into the fight.

Shisui flittered here and there too quick for the eye to follow, Konan’s paper dripped red as she hung in the air on giant angel wings, Kisame happily shredded his opponents to ribbons with his weird sword… He had a headache.

“Bounty hunters.” Nagato comments.

“What?” He asks, throwing the red-head a confused look.

“It’s a town of bounty hunters.” His friend explains calmly, the rings of his shakujō clanging together slightly as he shifts in place. “They weren’t expecting Sasori to be familiar enough with drugs to realize they were slipping something into the drinks.”

A nearby house collapses, and something explodes in the distance, briefly illuminating the giant cactuses that dotted the landscape of the island.

“Remind me again, why did I think this was a good idea?”

“You didn’t. We were kidnapped as children by a corrupt marine who wanted to make some extra money on the side.”

* * *

For once, Yahiko’s entire crew was all in the same room, and no one was trying to kill each other. It was tiring being the only reasonable person on the ship. You’d think Nagato, or Konan, or Itachi would help him out sometimes, but no, they could be just as bad as the rest of them.

For several minutes, they all eat in silence before Deidara looks up from his plate. “By the way, where’s Tobi?” He asks. “And Zetsu, for that matter.”

“Cousin Obito is with Kakashi-senpai.” Itachi murmurs.

“Yeah, Obito-ni took off as soon as Madara-sama said he was free to go,” Shisui adds, carelessly popping a tomato into his mouth. 

They don’t react well to _that_ piece of news. Weapons are seized, ceramic and glass are broken, the chairs are overturned… In short, it’s chaos. Only the two Uchiha remain calm. After all, what shinobi hasn’t heard of their ancestor, Madara? He had helped build Konoha and then had betrayed it by setting the Nine-Tails on it. The fight that ensued led to the creation of the first jinchūriki. His fighting prowess had been on par with that of Senju Hashirama himself, also known as the God of Shinobi. Uchiha Madara was the stuff of nightmares.

Shisui chuckles at their reactions. “Relax, he’s alright now. His brothers will throw him in the pond if he tries anything. Zetsu on the other hand…” The teen’s expression turns dark. “We haven’t seen him yet, but if we do – he’s dead meat.”

Itachi nods once in agreement, red eyes filled with bloodlust, and Yahiko exchanges startled glances with the rest. The crow zoan was a known pacifist and to see him actively wish for someone’s death was very unusual. Yahiko there and then decides he’s not getting involved. Whatever fate the Uchiha clan had planned for this Zetsu, he probably deserved it.

Also, did they just imply that Tobi wasn’t actually Madara?

* * *

The bar in Loguetown they’ve been asked to meet at didn’t look like much. It was grimy, dark, and smelled disgusting, so it was a good thing he wasn’t there to enjoy himself but to meet the cloaked man sitting in the darkest corner. Beside him sat a noble-looking blond with a wicked burn on his face and a sturdy metal pipe on his knees. There didn’t seem to be anyone else, but Yahiko was certain there were others. Like that girl sitting a few tables over who looked mightily interested in his party and wasn’t completely successful in hiding her baby Transponder Snail.

He didn’t come alone either. Kisame was acting as his unneeded, but intimidating muscle, Kakuzu as his negotiator and Konan as his First Mate, and they were only the most obvious.

He sits down at the table and stares fearlessly into the face of the world’s most wanted man. “So, does your presence today mean the deal still stands?”

“An independent team under my command only.” Monkey D. Dragon rumbles. “Free to continue your own activities when I don’t require your services. Codenamed: Akatsuki.”

Yahiko grins, pleased, and extends a hand to shake. “Excellent. I look forward to working with you, sir.”

The other man grips his extended hand and smiles his own ear-to-ear D. grin.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own Naruto or One Piece.


End file.
